[ ! ] The Sugarbuzz Project

Have a Happy V.D.

Feb 14, 2008 Rant

photo by blmurch

That’s right, it’s that time of year again where I would like nothing more than to drive my car off a cliff. Valentine’s Day.

I don’t understand why people celebrate this wretched ‘holiday’. Don’t you people understand that you are being ripped off by florists all around the world?

You paid how much for roses today? How long are they going to live? Yeah, they will stink in a couple of days, how does that symbolize your ‘eternal love’ for your ’significant’ other?

Not only is Valentine’s Day bad for the economy, it’s also bad for your emotional stability. How so? Let’s see…I remember back in grade school when everyone traded cards and candy…I also remember coming home with a grand total of zero cards (when everyone else in class got them). This goes back to when I attended grade school in El Centro, California as well.

Here’s a note to the class of 1997 who might remember my name from Meadows Union School (with the exception of Daniel Landeros - my only friend in California): you all suck. Every last one of you. I hate you all. But I digress.

I’ve been wanting to say that for the last sixteen years. Wow. Yeah, I held on to those memories of all the idiots I had to put up with. I was the fat white kid on the playground, so I became the target. Well, things changed. Thank God for Texans having some kind of brains…life is so much better out here.

Ack. Back to V.D. Yes, that stands for Valentine’s Day. Why? What did you think it stood for? Let me know in about a week when you figure it out.

Married on V.D.? How sickeningly lame. That’s perhaps the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard. You chose to be joined with your boyfriend/girlfriend on that day because it was ‘romantic’? Please. You bought into the marketing. You probably paid inflated prices for everything as well.

Do me a favor…if you see me on Valentine’s Day, be nice, but don’t wish me a happy V.D. Ever.

Thanks.