[ ! ] The Sugarbuzz Project

Blogging As a Method of Stress Relief

Jul 18, 2008 Blogging, Rant

I’m going to have to apologize in advance for this. It may sound more like I’m ranting, but I’m just so stressed out and I just had a disheartening realization.

My blogging and trying to make money is doing nothing to help my family. Nothing.

I would like to thank Bank of America for causing my bank to go into overdraft over $160 because of the ORDER in which they process items, and because their online banking window can still show a positive balance while in reality, behind the scenes, they are considering you to be overdrawn and NOT telling you about it (yes, I saved the conversations with their ’support’ that prove my statements).

This year I’ve made a fair amount of money with my blogging but have been forced to spend almost all of it on either fuel or food/drinks (mostly drinks) related to working my ‘real’ job which only pays $12.00 per hour. When you add the fact that now I apparently owe the bank money and cannot access the balance in my PayPal account any other way (yes, I just recently applied for their debit card), it’s hard to use the ‘extra money’ that is there.

I have two kids. A couple of weeks ago, my son got sick and had to go to the hospital. I make too much money for CHIPS, and I can’t afford insurance, so it put us in a bind. We have sold just about every book, CD, video game, etc. that we can get our hands on to try to make enough money for food and gas.

You know, sometimes I wish I were a Texas plastic surgery expert, I wouldn’t have to worry so much.

And yes, I’ve tried discussing cutting spending on things before. Since I have ZERO control of the cashflow around here, I am pretty much just written off or ignored outright. It makes people mad to hear what I have to say about the money because ‘I have no idea what goes on and how the bills work, and I shouldn’t worry about it.’

Blogging, for me, has become something I love to do because I have some kind of creative control over it. You know, since I sold my guitars. And, I know that I can make a little bit of spending money with it, even if it all gets spent on necessities.

Blogging helps me blow off a bit of steam. I enjoy being creative and getting paid for it.

In truth though, it really isn’t helping our situation any. I’m learning a lot reading other blogs, but in reality I’m not making enough money with it to actually help. Well, I am, but it is being spent on other, more pressing things, so I can’t save any of it.

It looks like I will reach that $500 goal for the year, but the laptop I was planning on getting will probably not be happening. Until it does, I’ll be blogging live from the abnormally hot garage.

I keep jokingly telling myself that ‘one day, my blogs will take off and I’ll make a decent supplemental income with them’. I’ve always been a bit naive, and I’m thinking that this is just another in a long series of stupid ideas that I will not be giving up any time soon because I believe I can do it.

I need to go back to college. I can’t, because I don’t have the time or money at the same time. Mostly, I don’t have the time. I can get the money. Grants will cover everything. But I also work a 12 hour night shift, and being a truck driver, I MUST be rested to safely do my job.

Meh. Some days I just hate being me.

 

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Tags: Personal Finance, Rant, Sucks